


One Man's Influence

by lesboinspace



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety depictions, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, mentions of adam, post season seven, super fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 15:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesboinspace/pseuds/lesboinspace
Summary: As his team reunites with their families, Shiro has some alone time. With no one to return to, the trauma that dissipated while in the presence of his teammates resurfaces, taking Shiro's mind to dark places...Luckily for Shiro, his new family is there to remind him of how valued he truly is.A post season seven fic where Shiro is given the love he deserves.





	One Man's Influence

**Author's Note:**

> As someone with PTSD, anxiety, depression and is a lesbian, I relate to Shiro so much. He's been ridiculously tortured. After watching season seven, I had to write something pleasant for him. The beginning has mentions of PTSD/anxiety and is a bit angsty, but after that I swear this is nothing but a happy feels train. :) I'm sorry for limiting the characters to only those from Earth! I was originally going to include at least Allura and Coran but this was getting long. ;-; I haven't written much Voltron fanfiction so I hope I captured everyone well enough! Please let me know what you think, I worked hard on this aha and am a bit nervous about how I did.  
> Feel free to throw a prompt my way here or on Tumblr!!  
> *a repost from gubby3, my old account~ I switched so my Ao3 name would match my Tumblr!!

How many marks and augmentations can the body receive before it's no longer considered human?

With two alien-altered hair colors, countless scars and two different arms, one alien and the other an alien-human hybrid, Shiro wonders if he's surpassed that number.

Not to mention that his DNA was stolen, creating dozens of clone vessels, one of which he's currently harboring. There's no guarantee that his new body will hold out forever, and it's possible that his condition added to the unperceivable variables may contribute to his depleting strength.

That is, if he's still diseased. Is that something that the Galra could do away with, especially since they made the effort to clone so many of him?

Unless they only expected to use them short term, or could've been working on a solution, knowing that it wouldn't be a real issue for years.

Shiro makes a mental note to meet with the Holt trio at the Garrison's medical facility within the next few days. Since they've interacted with the Galra and their technology, they will likely be able to offer more insight than any other colleagues even if they have more knowledge on human anatomy and genetics.

Well, he could always have them both present so they can compare theories.

Either way, Shiro refuses to bring up these questions until the Holts have had enough time together again. They don't deserve to be bothered over his desire to quench these curiosities.

Each team member has been holed up in their designated living arrangements at the Garrison since they emancipated Earth. Shiro couldn't be happier for them.

However, this has granted Shiro with too much time on his hands as he wanders the halls and revisists memories like a lonesome specter.

He passes the hours by contemplating the choices he made. No one could've predicted the result of the Kerberos mission, but with all that's happened, Shiro can't bring himself to say that he regrets going.

How can he?

Whether it truly was fate's doing or not, Shiro was able to play a role in saving his galaxy and plenty more beyond his stars. Those experiences aren't something he can simply dismiss, no matter what came of them. He was also given a new family, and Shiro can't downplay how much he values them.

If he hadn't gone, would someone else simply have taken his place in the fight against the Galra's tyranny?

Shiro tells himself otherwise, but he can't dwell on the thought for too long.

In short, the decision to leave? Not a mistake. His last words with Adam, and the days he turned away from him when he was only expressing his concerns, justified ones spoken out of nothing but love? The biggest regret of his life.

A familiar ache pools into his heart and ripples across his chest. The feeling of loss is all too known to him.

Tightly curling his fingers into the bedsheets, Shiro endures the sensation eating away at him. It lurks into his stomach and he groans, nausea momentarily consuming him. He's drowning in the future he lost.

More accurately, it's choking him, holding him under the waters of grief. Images of what could've been flutter behind his closed eyes.

A wedding.

Maybe kids...

Or at least a dog.

Shiro heaves in a breath before launching himself off of the bed. He paces around the room for a couple seconds before it starts to encroach on his distressed brain. Everything suddenly is too familiar, too void of what was and all that could've been.

With a dry sob, Shiro rushes to the door. It slides open far too slowly as Shiro leans forward on his toes, each millisecond a lifetime of agony while he remains trapped in a bunker of dead dreams.

He throws himself at the opening. The desperate need to escape fuels his trembling frame, adrenaline pumping through him. Standing within the halls, Shiro’s panicked breathing steadily flows back into its it's normal pace. The closest wall serves as a crutch, Shiro pushing his back into it while he waits for his frazzled nerves to relax.

Shiro made it out. He's free.

“Shiro, what just happened? Are you okay?”

It takes Shiro a moment to realize that, as he fled the haunted room, something was in his way. His flash of anxiety dying down, Shiro peeks at the floor to find Keith, his brows furrowed in confusion and worry.

He’d been so distraught that he knocked Keith out of the way and hadn't even noticed.

The sight snaps Shiro out of his daze and he quickly lowers himself to pull Keith up. In his rush he offers his right hand, but when he sees the mechanical arm in front of him, Shiro switches to his left before the image settles.

“You're the only person I've met whose asked me how I'm doing after being run into.”

Shiro forces a laugh and smile, though Keith doesn’t return either. He’s too focused on the reflexive arm switch. Keith takes note of it but doesn't speak, allowing himself to be hoisted off the floor. Instead, Keith merely sends Shiro a knowing look, though the subconscious movement still hasn't fully hit the commander.

Upon his own realization, Shiro does his best to shrug it off.

“It was damaged a little during the fight. I'm trying to, uh, limit how much I use it.”

Both of them know it's not true.

“I'm so sorry about just now, I haven't felt much like myself these past few days.”

Shiro's words cause Keith to still. After a moment of silence, Keith clears his throat.

“Um, don't worry about it, I understand. Why don't we get some lunch and we can talk? It feels like too long since I've seen you, but I guess that's because we're all so used to each other's constant presence.”

The two share an inside laugh, each of them briefly struck with pleasant memories of their lives in the castle. With a nod, Shiro follows behind Keith as they head to the cafeteria. For the entirety of the travel, Shiro’s gaze is downcast, relying the feet in front of him for navigation. Shame courses through him over what he did to Keith during his mild episode.

No matter how far Shiro falls, it can always get worse. He never seems to hit rock bottom. Instead, Shiro is continually sinking further into the ground, discovering new depths.

“We've all been preoccupied with our families, but that doesn't mean you can't seek any of us out. You're family too.”

Warmth prickles at his ears, and through the fog dampening Shiro’s thoughts, he manages a smile. He couldn't be more grateful for the relationships he's formed while serving as a fellow paladin. His team, his family, are what got him through the hard times. They still are Shiro's main source of motivation.

Maybe that heavy reliance isn't such a good thing.

As Keith comes to a halt, Shiro's exhausted mentality causes him to slam his heels into the ground to avoid crashing into his teammate.

Keith doesn't seem to pick up on the averted travesty. He turns to face Shiro, his eyes tentative but shining with something that Shiro can't put his finger on. It's not an emotion that Shiro has seen often in Keith's irises. He'd be able to count the occurrences on one hand, given how serious Keith has always been. It almost looks like…

“Welcome home, Captain.”

Oh, Shiro was right.

Reaching for the handle behind him, Keith pushes the double doors open to reveal the rest of his Earth originating paladins.

That sparkle in Keith's eyes isn't remnants of his common passion found in combat situations.

It's the shine of impish youth.

Colorful streamers and balloons fill every inch of space that his teammates don't occupy. In the center of the room, they all grin at Shiro from around a giant strawberry and vanilla cake, its icing detailed and clearly done by a skilled, steady hand. The dessert shines brilliantly and reaches above Shiro’s head on the hip-high table. Noticing his lack of movement, the paladins beckon him forward with their own animated hand gestures. Shiro is still too shocked to move an inch from the doorway.

“You guys...Keith, what's all this for?”

Keith takes in Shiro’s frozen form and can't help the chuckle that bubbles out of his lips. He tugs at Shiro's wrist to ease him into moving on his own, and the pair joins their waiting friends.

"Well, we wanted to celebrate you, and everything that you've done, for us and the universe."

With a glance behind him, Keith directs Lance to come forward. Lance hesitantly steps into the center of the group, a hand deep into the hairs above his neck. He releases a shaky breath as he locks onto Shiro’s gaze and offers him a nervous grin.

"Yeah, it's like the mullet said. If it weren't for you, I don't think I could've ever found my real confidence. I may not look it, but I've struggled a lot with figuring out who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. Back then, I didn't know what I wanted, or what I was good at, but meeting you made things more clear each day. You've been a hero to me since forever, and being able to save worlds and kick butt with you really helped me grow. You made me who I am today."

Through the speech, Lance could barely make eye contact with Shiro. His eyes flitted everywhere around the room, unable to settle on a single sight. By the end, his stare became set on the man of the hour, and Shiro couldn't be more proud of him.

Almost immediately after Lance finishes, Pidge leaps in front of him. Excitement is pouring out of her small, eager frame, but despite her high energy, Pidge rubs at her elbow to calm herself before speaking.

"Shiro, you've been an icon in my family for years. I looked up to you before we even met. Not only that, you saved Matt's life and risked your own to do it. The kindness you've shown me and the leadership you provided all of us without hesitation drove me to be my best. I'd been lost for a long time, but you paved a new road for me. Thanks to you, I felt actual hope for the first time in ages. That hope guided me into realizing what I'm capable of, and the good I can do with it."

“Pidge…”

“Ah, hold on! Save it for the end, I need to get this off my chest before the waterworks start flowing.”

Playfully moving Pidge out of his way, Hunk nibbles at his bottom lip to keep the tears already pricking at his eyes from falling. Hunk huffs in air through his nostrils and sets his hands in front of him, doing his best to focus on Shiro without releasing the tears dangerously close to breaking past his defenses. With a choked laugh, he begins.

"Man, where do I start? We went through so much as a team, and that whole time I don't think any of us really grasped just what the heck we were doing. Despite all the confusion and doubt, you are the one that solely kept us together. We were strangers when were shot into space in a robot lion that I still don't have a full understanding of. You were level-headed and patient with us, and soon enough we came together as a unit. I mean, we literally came together as a single, giant, awesome action figure dude who spread peace across galaxies. You grounded us, especially me. I was terrified the whole time and did very little to hide it, but you inspired me to keep fighting, no matter how much I wanted to run away. You helped me face my many, many fears. It's thanks to you that I'm just a bit less of a coward."

Sometime during his turn, rivers had streamed down Hunk’s face. Now finished and fully aware that he's crying, Hunk sniffles and pulls Shiro into a tight hug. The others follow right behind as they pile onto Shiro, each of their tears and laughs mixing together into one joyous symphony.

Keith is the first to back away, and the others do the same to allow him his proper time to address Shiro.

"I hope you realize this by now, but you're everything to me, to all of us. Without your refusal to give up on me, I don't even want to think about where I'd be right now. For whatever reason, you chose to fight for me and my future no matter how much I tried to turn away from both. Thank you for staying by my side when I wanted to cave into myself, and thanks for never abandoning me when everyone else thought I was a lost cause. I may have saved you a couple times up in space, but they don't come close to what you've done for me. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that you saved all of us. We love you, Shiro, and, as your family, we're so happy to welcome you home."

Shiro is at such a complete loss. No words he could offer would fully express how moved he is by his team’s words. His family's love for him is the same as Shiro’s for them.

“You're all incredible people, and I can't believe I've had such an influence on each of you. I wish I knew what else to say, but...I'm just so touched.”

Both of Shiro’s hands fly to his face as his own tears spill. Once again, the team embraces him, surrounding him and silently promising to protect him like a shield.

 

After they all shed plenty more tears and take in one another's presence, Shiro inches back.

“You know, these past few days have been hard, and I've hardly eaten. It may just be the hunger talking, but I'm pretty sure that cake is calling my name.”

With a loud, excited gasp, Hunk rushes to cut pieces of his masterpiece for everyone to enjoy. They all take a slice offered to them and quickly work on devouring it.

Everyone except Lance, whose only poked at it with his fork, his gaze distant. Given that Lance is sitting at the end of the table next to Shiro, the latter is quick to notice.

"Lance? Is something wrong?"

"What? Oh, uh, nope, sorry for dozing off. I wanted to ask you something but it's stupid, don't worry about it.”

Taken aback, Shiro turns his body to fully face Lance, his eyes gentle.

“After everything we've gone through, there's nothing that you can't ask me. I know you, so there's no way it's a stupid question. Please, tell me what's on your mind.”

His eyes clearer, Lance peeks a glance at Shiro before taking a hefty first bite of the cake. The wondrous taste eases some of his tension, and he rubs at his neck to further relax.

“I just, well, this is going to sound kind of weird, but...I was hoping if you'd maybe let me shake your hand again? I mean, it'd be an honor to, and now that we're back on Earth, it could mark how we've come full circle! Something like that, anyway."

Shiro has been told so many kind words today, but Lance's seemingly simple request alone nearly drives him to tears.

He really is the luckiest being in the universe to have such an amazing family.

"I think I understand what you're getting at. You've come a long way, Lance. I'm honored to have been a part of your journey."

Shiro's response causes Lance to completely perk up, his lips lifting into his trademark grin.

“You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you, sir, and welcome home.”

“Whoa there, we're on equal terms now. You helped saved the universe as much as I did, and you still have a bright future ahead of you. I welcome you to the first day of the rest of your life, Sharpshooter.”

With identical smiles, the two shake on promises of the future. This time, Shiro proudly extends his skinless hand, and Lance doesn't hesitate to take it.


End file.
